Ghost Pains
by not the mermaid
Summary: On a rainy day thats triggering their aches and pains, Satya and Jesse talk about their pasts and grow closer to each other. An angsty yet fluffy SymMccree fic.


"Heh...you know darlin, it's weird, they can make us completely new arms, attach them to our nerves and everythin' so it feels completely natural when we use them….an' yet…" McCree drifted off as he gave Satya a cup of tea and sat back down on the bed with her. They were both in pajamas still though it was the middle of the day, it had been raining cats and dogs outside and they were anticipating a thunderstorm later that night. Satya was using a heating pad on her arm whilst Jesse's heating pad was in the middle of the bed waiting for him to put it back on.

"Yes...even with our advancements in surgery and the medical field in general, even with an advanced arm like mine… i still have aches and pains often, like my natural arm is still here…" Satya looked at her hands with slight frustration, mad that she didn't understand why this would happen.

Jesse pulled her into him and rested his chin on her shoulder, holding her human hand in his "I know how ya feel, sometimes I even forget I have this damn thing till i look at it." he took her mug from her and placed it down on their side table before sinking down into the pillows with her still in his arms. He was now spooning her and adjusting their heating pads so they could soothe their aching parts properly. "Y'know...I'm not quite sure exactly how you lost yer arm now that I think about it, I remember you sayin' ya lost it during one of yer spy missions but ya never went into detail...mind if I ask the story behind this here piece of work?" Jesse asked in a curious tone as he trailed his robotic hand down her arm.

Satya sighed, she didn't talk about her past much, and if she did she didn't go into much detail, she didn't like thinking about it, would rather concentrate on the future instead.

Jesse sensed her hesitation and her grip slightly tighten on his human hand. He automatically felt bad about asking "Sugar you don't gotta tell me if you don't wanna, I understand, I'm sorry for askin' I-"

"It's ok Jesse, let me just...gather my thoughts from that day…" she sat back up against the headboard, grabbed her teacup and took a sip before taking a deep breath. Remembering that day was never fun for her but she was willing to bring those memories back to mind for Jesse, he was always telling things about himself, it only seemed fair to share what happened that was so impactful on her life. She took a sip of her tea and looked at him, he was still laying down but gazing at her in anticipation, holding himself up on one elbow while he watched her prepare herself to tell her story. He loved learning new things about her so he was all ears, his full concentration was on her right now.

"Okay...it happened a few years ago, I believe i was 25 yrs old at the time. I was on an espionage mission for Vishkar, nothing particularly special it was like any other mission they had given me before; gather information from a competing company and see if i could find anything useful for the headmasters. This particular company owned a slum in Hyderabad and wasn't willing to sell it to us so we could build a better town for them, so they sent me in to see if I could find anything to well... use to our advantage , if you will".

"Heh, Satya Vaswani helping others blackmail people? I don't believe it!" Jesse joked as he cracked his big dumb grin at her.

She just gave a weak smile back "There are many things I did for Vishkar that I am not proud of…" she gripped her tea cup a bit stronger and took a deep breath before taking another sip. The entire time she told the story she was looking down at her hands and fidgeting with a spinner ring Jesse had bought for her; It was a plain looking silver ring at first glance but at a closer look it had the words "for the woman with stars in her eyes" engraved on it. He claimed it meant that her eyes were as gold as the sun and as bright as the future. Jesse was always surprising her at how romantic and sweet he could be, a quality you would never be able to tell just by looking at him quite frankly. And it was remarkably helpful especially in situations like this where she felt nervous or uneasy.

She sighed as she began to continue the story after his silly remark "While I was on my mission I could not find anything, absolutely nothing that we could have used against them. And if I couldn't help Vishkar get their way they sometimes had a plan b...which usually involved blowing up the entire place regardless if anyone was in there. During this particular instance I got caught in the explosion and ended up losing the majority of my left arm. Honestly I'm lucky that's all I lost..." She trailed off, a look of disdain growing on her face as she went on with the story, and the more she stared at her left arm.

"THEY BLEW UP A BUILDING WITH YOU STILL INSIDE AND YOU STILL CONTINUED TO WORK FOR THEM?!" Jesse asked in shock of the situation

"Well…" she sighed with a slight pained look on her face and increased fidgeting with her ring, "at the time I didn't know it was them, they told me it happened because of a fire...or some other bull excuse, i don't really remember. They've done it so many times i started to forget all the ludicrous lies they would come up with to excuse it. At first when things like that would happen I thought maybe i had set off some kind of security for the buildings i was infiltrating. But after people started to get hurt and Vishkar's complete lack of empathy about it started to show I started looking into all of it and ended up finding out how evil Vishkar is and how foolish i was to blindly trust them for so long." her voice started to crack and tears were forming in her golden eyes, "Under the guise that we were making the world a better place i was really just helping a greedy heartless corporation who never cared about the people they claimed they were helping." Satya bit her lip in frustration, she began to wipe her tears with her shaking fists.

"Hey now…" Jesse said in a low caring voice as he sat up and took the cup away from her again and placed it on their table then gently wiped the tears from her eyes "It's ok, no need to get so upset now, the past is in the past and you've moved on from all of that." he pulled her into his arms and gently gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I...i know i just…" she sniffled as she wiped away the tears she was trying to hold back "It's just hard for me to talk about my past...that's why i never really do…" her voice still trembling out of melancholy. She rested her head on his chest and wrapped around him as he held her close and rubbed her back and played with her hair as he consoled her.

"I'm sorry sugar...but I'm glad you did. I feel a bit closer to ya now. Thank you for sharin' that with me" he gave her another small kiss on the cheek. She gave him a weak smile before what looked like a wince from sudden pain. Jesse pressed the heating pad back to her arm just in case. "Are you okay darlin, is ur pain getting worse? Do you want me to get ya anything else? Another cup of tea?" he asked concerned

"No I'm ok right now Jesse, thank you." she gave him a weak grin before looking back at her arm "You know...they didn't even show the least bit of concern or compassion when I had first lost my arm...instead they acted as if i was simply getting an upgrade now that the hardlight technology was installed into my actual arm instead of having to use the gloves we used to create everything. It's...despicable honestly, how they treated me...how they brainwashed me…" she pressed her face into his chest trying to fight back the tears that threatened to fall and let out a heavy sob.

Jesse just held her tighter in his arms as he rubbed her back and placed a few gentle kisses on the top of her head "Shh shh shh that's ok just get it all out. I can tell you've been holding onto this heavy stuff for a long time now. It's better to vent and get it off ya chest" he nuzzled into her a bit and sank down into the bed with her to get her to be in a more comfortable position, and laying on his back was easier on his aching arm and joints. "You sure there's nothing you want me to do for ya darlin'? More tea? Medicine? Nothin?"

She sniffled as she raised her face up from his now tear stained chest, eyes puffy and cheeks tear stained. Jesse gave her a weak but loving smile as he wiped away the moisture from her cheeks which made her blush a bit. She sat up slightly to give him a small peck on the cheek, "Yes I am sure Jesse I am fine you do not need to get me anything. The heating pad and you simply just being here is more than enough." she said before laying back down on top of him, avoiding the damp spot on his chest "Thank you for listening to me, this is the first time I've ever vented to someone about any of this, I haven't even told Hana or Ana about this yet…" she trailed off almost feeling guilty for having so many secrets.

"Don't worry about it darlin, it's what I'm here for. Its an honor to have you trust me with your past demons, I'm happy to feel so much closer to you now" Jesse felt proud to know this, he was happy she trusted him with this information first before telling even her closest friends. He knew how closed off she usually was, and for good reason, so it felt good to know how much this truly meant for her to be able to vent to him and get everything off her chest like this.

She blushed at his words, tho he couldn't see her face at the moment being buried in his chest, it was a little embarrassing for her since she wasn't used to being so close to people, especially not to where she could vent her secrets to anyone like this. It made her feel warm, and happy that she finally was able to build close relationships with people who loved her unforgivingly.

They laid there together in bed holding each other tight in a comfortable silence for a few moments, listening to the rainfall outside as a calming white noise. It was peaceful.

"Jesse...if you do not mind, could you tell me a story as a distraction from everything right now?" Satya asked, breaking the silence,hopeful to get off her melancholic state of mind.

"Heh well o'course darlin, what kinda story d'ya wanna hear?" Jesse smiled, he had a million stories, she just had to pick what type.

"If you don't mind telling me...how did you lose your arm, Jesse?" Satya quizzed

"Heh now that is a story, kinda similar to yours actually. I was also on a mission when I lost mine, but not by an explosion." he sighed as the memories of that day came flooding back to him. He adjusted himself into the pillows while staring up at the ceiling. Satya nuzzled into his chest as she waited in anticipation for his story, she liked to hear his heartbeat and feel his voice vibrate through his chest as he spoke whenever they were cuddled up like this. "It happened a year before Switzerland. Gabe sent us out on a mission to try and collect info from Talon. We were in preparation to rescue Amelié Lacroix, a famous French balette dancer and also Gérard Lacroix's wife, he was one of our best men and Talon had been after him for a while, guess since they couldn't kill him they figured taking her from us would be the next best thing..."

"I know her" Satya spoke up

"Huh?" he looked down at her, she seemed upset again

"I know her, I used to watch her performances on television. She was so beautiful, and graceful. I loved watching her performances. But it seemed as though she just suddenly disappeared from the earth one day…" she trailed off for a second then shook her head "please, continue, what happened to her?" Satya said in a hurried voice eager to know what happened.

"Heh...that Amelié sure was somethin', always a pleasure to be around, a very sweet woman. That's why when we found out she was kidnapped by such a big terrorist organization we were devastated, Gérard especially. So we did multiple missions to be as safe as possible to return her home. Gabe sent Genji and I to collect info on their base, how to get in, their security, where she would most likely be held, you get the idea being a former spy yourself I'm sure. We did as much investigating as we possibly could, being very careful not to get caught and all but... there's a reason they've become such a world threat…" Jesse sighed deep as he prepared to continue the story. "We thought we were safe...that we had a successful mission, we were even almost out of their base thinking we actually succeeded without getting caught once, but as we got close to leaving their grounds I saw a red dot on Genji's head, without thinking I dove in front of him and grabbed his head like i was tackling a football or somethin', just to push him out the way so he wouldn't get hit, but I ended up taking the hit instead. Bullet shattered my arm, there wasn't much they could do with the bones so badly broken. They had to amputate it and I ended up with this." Jesse reached his arm in the air to stare at the grey, skull decorated machinery attached to him.

"You saved Genji's life by taking a bullet for him… that's so noble of you…" Satya stared up at him in agasp at his story. She scooched up and gave him a small kiss then propped herself up on her left elbow and gently combed a few fingers through his hair while as he layed there staring at his prosthetic remembering all of those sour memories from back then. "Jesse...if you don't mind me asking...what happened to Amelié?" she asked softly and curiously.

He snapped out of it and looked at her hovering above the right side of his face still playing with his hair. He sighed and reached up, pushing some of her hair behind her ear then gliding his hand down her cheek. "Well...that's one thing we're just not too sure of. We did end up bringing her back home….but we weren't able to save her. From the minute we brought her home she seemed different….strange...like an eerie vibe was given off from her. And then we found out why. She ended up killing Gerard in his sleep and escaping from us. Some to this day think that she became a traitor to us, but me and Gabe? We're pretty sure she was brainwashed and to this day we won't forgive the higher ups who refused to check her into therapy to make sure nothing was done to her, they figured since she wasn't physically harmed or different that she was fine. Gabe knew better than that and now we've had one hell of a price to pay for their carelessness." Jesse's voice sounded heavy and grim as he went on to explain.

"I'm so sorry Jesse, for your loss...and having to go through all of that. But thank you for telling me" she gave him another kiss and was about to pull away before Jesse pulled her back into him, grabbing at the back of her head slightly tugging at her long black hair, teasing her by gently biting her bottom lip. She couldn't help but smile and giggle at these kind of kisses. He wanted to hear her laugh after everything they just shared and luckily he knew just how to do that. After a few moments of his playful kisses she moved to lay back on top of him and broke the kiss, cuddling up close to him and nuzzling her face in the crook of his neck "I too feel much closer to you now after your story, thank you Jesse."

Jesse smiled as he hugged her a bit tighter and placed another kiss on top of her head "I'm glad to hear that darlin." he went to grab her robotic hand with his hand and rubbed his thumb over the smooth metal that was the back of her hand "Days like today might be rough to deal sometimes with but I'm glad I have you to help get through them" he said softly

His words made her smile and grow a slight blush "Yes it definitely helps to have someone you care about and also understands what you're going through to get through the pain. I'm glad i have you too Jesse."

Together they spent the rest of the day in their room telling stories, and watching movies; making sure that the other was always ok and never in too much pain. Truly happy that they had someone they loved and trust to get through days like today.

-End-


End file.
